Calvin Seng’s Blog

Having no idea on where to start writing from, and how to write, describe my situation correctly. I aint bankrupt, instead I am pennyless. Two silver coins, tail craftted by a hisbiscus representation and a number - 20, with the word “Bank Negara Malaysia” bending in an arc shape, printed near the edge of the coin, are what left in my wallet besides my Identity Card, some contact cards, and a CIMB ATM card.

In fact, I have a CIMB bank account, and that’s the main source where I got my penny to spend monthly. Thank you Pa and Ma for the money you’d been giving me monthly. Wisely, I spent every penny I received from you all, but seriously, I’d got no penny left either in my bank or hand. Both are empty. The only difference is that in my bank, it has RM 20, which is the minimum amount of cash that has to be kept in the bank in order my account is active. 

Tremendous pressure is what I am facing daily. I have nothing to eat, but the cereals and milk I have at home, and none is being completely owned by me, as I shared with my roommate. Next thing, I have to beg for money from my friends, especially my roommate, if I were to fill my empty stomach up. Too cruel to be true, none of them are willing to give me freely, so I have to actually borrow from them, and you would not understand the feeling truly until the day you experience the same thing as I am going through now. Harsh, disappointed, frustrated, despair, emotional, guilty, and anguish are what I am feeling in 86400 seconds in a day. 

Do not misunderstand that I’d spent my money on unneccessary things until I am a pennyless person right now. Let’s do some calculations right now. My parents banked in RM 300 in 2 weeks ago (end of November), but my brother “borrowed” RM 265 from me, causing me to have only RM 35 to spend in the rest of the week. Finally, the chilly december arrived, and so my parents banked in another RM 300 for me. However, this is the time when I have to pay the monthly rental for my accomodation. RM 170 for room rental, RM 88 for streamyx, RM 66.4 for both electric and phone rental, then RM 10.8 for water supply. The sum of this monthly rental is RM 335.2. For your information, my daily expenses on food ranged from RM 7~RM 10, and the place where I am living is Cyberjaya, Selangor. This expenses is count as little already comparing to other places in Selangor. RM 600 - RM 265 - RM 335.2 = negative RM 0.2. So basically I should have got no more penny left to eat since 2 weeks ago. However, luckily I have some savings, and that longed me for capable to fill my empty stomach for 2 weeks’ time, which is around RM 98 ~ RM 120. 

Due to some reasons, I would not be able to get back my RM 265 that I had lent my brother. Furthermore, I would not want to increase my parents’ financial burden, so there is no way I would want to ask for extra money from them. Besides that I actually owed my best friend — My roommate, quite a sum of money. We’d bought scanner, printer, book shelf and a writing table recently, and those cost us nearly RM 400, yet I am supposed to pay half but he had paid my portion first.  He has indeed helped me out at a nick of time like this. Thank you sincerely, Boon. 

Tomorrow, I have got no idea how my life would be, probably, I have to starve. Can I endure for one more week without eating, until the day when my parents will bank in for me again? Hopefully I am strong enough to endure. Else, I would have to beg for money from my friends. I feel sorry for myself. Not only that, I feel I am the utmost lousy person in this world. I am a sore loser. I am useless. Last but not least, I am pennyless……

Hello, everyone, I am Calvin Seng. I guess by greeting everyone who is reading my blog right now is a very good way to start blogging. At least, for me, things will turn very awkward without a proper starting. So, what I am trying to say is, thank you all for heading to my blog, and you know what, everyone of you have my blessing of having a wonderful day.

Whilst, I’d promised myself to not write much about my personal life  in blog anymore, I will try to mention more onto things which are beneficial to both you and I. There are at least 10 reasons countable using fingers for me not to talk about my life. However, since this is the first post, I am going to write a little bit more about my feelings right now. 

At last, after for about a month’s time, I’d finally be able to almost complete my portfolio, about 95% completed. The rest 5% is the files that I have not upload and updates that are supposed to appear on my gallery page. In fact, I am glad that things have been able to come this far without me giving up in the midst of building the portfolio. Certainly, there was ups and downs whilst I was coding the-Feathers.com. The concept was to build an animated website that based on pure AJAX, without the use of Flash at all. By the way, instead of able to build a 100% animated website, I had only managed to build a website with roughly 50% animation. The most appealing and apparent animation in my portfolio is the automatic colours transition of background. 

To be frank, I had overgone banging my head to the walls, and cracking it to get the correct ideas in designing my portfolio previously. Do not take what I had just said seriously, they are just exaggeration. The economy is weak right now,so anyhow, freelance jobs are not easy to get right now. Besides that, competition is something that will always be existed around us. You know, fighting with actual professional designers sure is something tough as I am still studying. At least 3 more years down the road for me to graduate and become a true color professional. 

I have a colourful life, what about yours? What’s the colours of your life? Is it dull or bright? Are you happy or sad? For your information, you are the one who is responsible for your happiness. So, you actually have the choice to select what kind of life that you would like to live, complete the incompletions in your life, and of course, there will always be disappointments, upsets, frustrations, and depressions in life. They are inevitable, but what you could do is to not let your world being overwhelmed by them for too long. 

Last but not least, thanks for reading what I’d written line by line. Have a wonderful day!